Roller Coaster......

These past two months have been nothing but a pain in the neck. Literally. It’s really unbelievable the amount of medical ailments I have encountered within 60 days. Let’s recap shall we…..(I am only putting this to paper so I can laugh about it one day……but unfortunately that day is not here yet!)

• I turned 39.
• Next week I woke up with a swollen left hand, so much so I couldn’t make a fist or type at work.
• Saw a hand specialist at my work she worked on me and then decided this wasn’t normal go see a hand surgeon.
• X-ray at the hand surgeon told me I have a floating sesmoid bone; they should be on the palm side of your hand mine was up on my knuckle side, okay great.
• Get a shot of cortisone straight into my knuckle and he warned me it would hurt and it did, so much so that I stood up because I felt a wave of nausea come over me and went for the sink when I passed out cold in the 8 ft doctors arms. (Are you kidding me and we are only at bullet point number 4) wake up with drool on my sweater and a straw of orange juice in my mouth. Missed the rest of the day at work.
• Went to go get blood work done to test for arthritis – came back normal and not at risk. Finally some good news.
• Two days later hand back to normal. Hip Hip Horay…..Age has nothing on me…..
• Two weeks later woke up (you will see a trend here) with a kink if you will, in my neck and shoulder blade. Been down this road before no big deal will get adjusted and get back to life.
• Next day wake up with a vice grip on my neck and head. So much so that I can’t lift my own neck or head off my pillow. The pain was so extreme that touching my face or combing my hair literally sent me into a pain coma
• Try to sleep in any position but laying down, I considered having Chris duck tape me to the wall just to get some shut eye…..the backward motion of laying down still makes me shiver as I type this…..
• Head to the ER because I couldn’t take the pain – got a shot in the hip of pain meds, drove straight to Walgreens to pick up Vicadin, muscle relaxers, 600MG of Ibuprofen, flexiril, feldene lets just say my purse became a drug store, my body became a zombie, and my life took a sudden halt.
• Go to an orthopedic surgeon to get an x-ray – confirmed that my neck/spine are not in there normal backwards c- shape….mine straight line……he thinks its some discs out of place but lets just get on meds and therapy before an MRI is needed.

• Two weeks of no sleep, a lot of ingested meds, and no progress I head to get an MRI.
• MRI results come back I have three discs out and an annular tear in one of them. SUPER. Did I mention that there was no injury or no triggering event other than waking up one morning……so of course I blame Chris for beating me in our sleep….remember I am hoped up on lots of meds.

• He also proceeds to tell me that there is no surgical procedure to repair a tear….and it could take up to 6 months to heal itself……Fantastic!
• So at this point I am running my own physical therapy clinic out of my basement, mobile traction machine, e stim unit……. (benefits of the job)and I am trying to be patient but bordering on insanity from not working out, not sleeping through the night, not snuggling with my kids without a warning “easy on the neck”
• I finally get in with a pain clinic to get an injection, (thanks to some strings being pulled since they told me I would have to wait four to six weeks to get the injection once they surgeon decided I needed it……are there that many people in pain? WTH?
• Go to the pain clinic get an epidural in my neck and cortisones shots on my c4 and c5 (Yeah at this point I can speak in medical terms)
• Feel instant relief of the throbbing head/shoulder pain! TEMPORARY VICTORY! I will take it.
• So within these two banner months I have maxed out my deductible in 60 days, I have purchased a $70 memory foam pillow that is like quicksand for someone with a neck injury to get out of, I wear a neck brace sometimes, I have and go have PT done 2-3 times a week (luckily its convenient for me.)
• Semi feeling some relief – I have lost the pain and sharp pinch behind my shoulder blade (forgot to mention that is a sweet perk of the one disc I had out it was associated with that nerve) and enough mobility that I no longer have to take my seat belt off and rotate my entire body every time I make a right hand turn.
• ….just as I was on my way to recovery……
• I woke up (no lie……..I mean at this point I am installing a nanny cam, right?) with a finger that is black and blue and pointing the wrong way……how does one jam a finger in the course of eight hours while doing no physical activity??
• Also woke up two days later with some numbness and pain in both pads of my feet……so now I can’t turn my neck or walk on my feet??? I mean for sure I will laugh at this some day, right? Could be the cortisone running through my body, or just another injury to add to the list.
• Have had thoughts of doing some online shopping and looking up a “new body” on Amazon.com and hope I qualify for the super savings free shipping.
• Even I am getting sick of the “poor me” drama of this post. But all I am saying if this is 39 I don’t want to see what 40 looks like.
• And as a reminder when I am all good and better, I need to come back and read this because I will appreciate every moment that I will wake up early to get back in my running shoes and back on the trail, and will not complain one bit. (I am pretty sure I have maxed out my complaint quota for 2012, Chris confirms.)